All That Matters
by Daroga's Rainy Daae
Summary: Erik's POV during the Scorpion and the Grasshopper ordeal... different from the novel, especially at the end, but nothing too fancy. Just a little bit of angst I felt was appropriate to share.


I was so confused... What was I doing? I was losing my mind, every inch of control I had was gone.. not a trace remained. I had Christine pleading for her life, for God's sake - her young friend praying for her safety! The only man who had ever befriended me was yelling for me to remember him, and reminding me how he saved my life! He never had needed me to repay him for anything - he used to trust me! But now I was acting like a wild man with no brain at all in my messed up head. I had finally snapped, and they all knew it! My love, my friend, and a decent young man reduced to a pleading, crying, desperate child!  
  
"Please, Christine, forget me! Save yourself... turn the scorpion, you have to!" Her friend shouted hoarsely from the torture chamber.  
  
"Erik! Remember I saved your life! You would have died if not for me!" The Persian shouted in competition with Raoul.  
  
Yes, he did save my life didn't he? He risked his life for me, when he shouldn't have! I was better off to be hung.. too much confusion! Why was I making everyone suffer? Why did I have to be overcome with such unrestrainable anger and sadness? I had to get a hold of myself!  
  
I don't care if Nadir dies! I don't care if we all die!  
  
"The scorpion or the grasshopper, Christine!" I boomed mockingly, "If you do not decide now, I will turn the grasshopper, and it will hop high!"  
  
Christine - the look on her face almost brought me back to reality.. she was pale and looked about to faint, tears streaming down her face as her hand quivered over the figures.  
  
"Erik, are you sure, are you SURE that the scorpion is the one to turn?" The child whispered, staring at me fearfully, her love all gone. Oh that pained me the most - she did not love me anymore! I had to force her to be my living wife! She cared more for the thousands of people at the Gala performance than me! She'd give up her love, the Vicomte de Chagny, to save him! How honorable! How wise this small girl was... Why did I have to do this?!  
  
"Yes," I sneered, "The hopping scorpion."  
  
"Ha! You said hop!"  
  
"To hop to our wedding!"  
  
"Christine, Christine, yes - turn the scorpion," Christine's friend whispered, now collapsed to his knees on the ground.  
  
The Persian stood still, not quite sure what to do... the idiot! He had done nothing! All he did for the past few months was follow me around and make me save HIM! He was a fool, a brave, stupid, fool! He shouldn't even have come here, he knew he would die... nobody would miss him, he would get nothing.. he sacrificed himself for the life of others! Fool! That damn fool! He should never have come..  
  
Christine tugged on the smooth, marble character. She did it! She was to be my living wife!  
  
A gurgling could be heard as water started to submerge the gunpowder, making it useless. Soon, it flooded into the torture chamber, and both the Persian and the Viscount leapt to the floor, their mouths practically stuck to the ground, sucking up as much water as they could gulp in a mouthful. But as the water began to rise, the men came to realize that the liquid was becoming much too high. Once the water picked the men off of their feet and began to swirl them out of control as they grabbed for a hold on the metal tree, Christine pulled my cloak and made me look into her eyes.  
  
"Please, please save them! That's enough water, Erik, don't let them die!" She pleaded. I didn't make a move to turn the water off. "Erik!" Christine shouted shrilly as I could hear faint cries from the other room from my old friend.  
  
"As you wish, your young friend will be saved," I answered reluctantly.  
  
"And YOUR friend? What about your friend, Erik?!" Christine gasped.  
  
MY friend? I almost forgot.. oh I should be kicked, I should be shot.. I gained enough of my mind back to realize that Nadir actually meant something to me! No - he was just a bumbling idiot! He didn't deserve to live! What the hell, he deserved to live as much as anyone, and more because He. Is. My. Friend. I have to fight to stay sane! And I might well have already been insane - oh I am confusing myself again! What do I do, I need to know what to do!  
  
I turned the scorpion back to the way it was, letting the water slowly drain from the torture chamber, both men sinking back to the floor. They were unconscious - better for me...  
  
Opening the door, I loomed over the limp body of the Daroga, feeling for a heartbeat - yes - he was still alive.. but barely. Oh, what have I done? I truly WAS losing my mind - there was something wrong with me.. why hadn't I cared? Why did I ever want him dead?  
  
"My apology is far too late, Nadir," I whispered as Christine - the small and beautiful Christine - kept her distance from her lover in the doorway, too afraid that if she leapt to his aid, she'd never be able to pull away from his body.  
  
Reluctantly, I shuffled towards the Vicomte, nudging him with my foot. He stirred, so that satisfied me for being awake, much to the dislike Christine showed to my enthusiasm of his being alive. She could not watch anymore, leaving me to drag the men up to a secluded room before coming back down to the lair about twenty minutes later.  
  
I found her at the edge of the lake, glancing at her reflection until I made my appearance in front of her. And solemnly, she tipped her head as I drew near. Oh, that small gesture was more than enough for me to wake from my maddening trance, and finally see my living bride before me. I pressed my lips to her forehead lightly, just long enough for it to be considered any sort of touch - and, trembling with emotions I collapsed to the ground, feeling so light-headed that my dreams had finally come true!  
  
Oh she was beautiful - nobody could understand.. nobody had EVER let me kiss them before! My own mother would run away in fear of me - Christine was a goddess, so perfect - an angel..  
  
I could not speak as I wept at her feet, oh her perfect, tiny feet!  
  
"Poor, unhappy Erik!" Christine whispered, beginning to cry, herself.  
  
And in that nanosecond of time, I realized that I was so obsessed with this girl, that I would die for her, I would do anything at all to make her happy! And this pain she was feeling right now, that she shared with me was too much, I could not stand to see her this frightened, this sad.. it almost killed me right now, to see her so down - I had to do something for her, or I would surely lose my mind, and I wouldn't get it back! I would make her happy, even if it killed me!  
  
"Christine," I choked, "You must - you must go with your friend... go marry your Viscount.." I fumbled with a ring in my weak, quivering hands. "Here," I said, thrusting the ring into her hand. "Take it!"  
  
"Erik-"  
  
"Go! Leave with your friend, please, do it now.. just do it.." I panted regretfully.  
  
"I - I'm sorry it had to be this way.." Christine muttered slowly, bending down and giving me a small kiss on my head.  
  
She kissed me! She kissed ME! Oh, this was too much - I would surely die once she left, but she needed her young man to take care of her! She needed the Vicomte de Chagny.. she needed him to live, and I needed Christine to be happy if I were to die without much suffering... she was perfect for him - she deserved him. He was handsome, charming, rich, everything that I wasn't! Oh, the jealousy was overpowering - I wanted to kill him still... but I saved him for her sake.. I would do ANYTHING for her.. I would go through the absolute most horrible torture to make her happy... you'd never understand, how much I loved her... how much I LOVE her..  
  
My mind is going to blank out - my train of thought is falling down the drain. I'm losing sanity, and I don't care. I don't care because Christine is happy.  
  
And that is all that matters. 


End file.
